Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Next Chapter

Nothing to report lately - except obvious baby stuff but I don't want to fill this blog up with that.  That's what my Facebook is for ;)  Oh, and my English classes, Skype sessions with Mom and every waking second with my husband. 

Clearly I have baby on the mind and it's kind of taking over everything. 

But, well, I also have other things on my mind... like Canada.  So it's official.  We're moving back to Canada.  I'd say permanently, but seeing as our lives will be forever divided between two countries, I can't say that for sure.  I can say for sure that two months from now our bags will be packed and we will be on our way to the airport to close one chapter of our lives and open another one. 

While I'm completely certain that this is what I want, and feel like we're currently in a good place emotionally/spiritually/mentally in Brazil to say goodbye, what I'm having the hardest time with is the actual finality of this adventure. 

The first bit 20/29 months of my Brazilian life were really really really difficult.  I was not very happy, not in a great place, going through a lot of personal challenges... but after we moved (for the FOURTH time in 2 years!) things took an incredible turn for the better.  I actually started to see Brazil more clearly as my haze of hatred lifted.  There are many things I can credit (like our new neighbourhood, finally having friends close by, less travel time, and more culture - and don't forget, I started seeing an amazing psychologist).  But things really did get better.  I am happy now. 

Now after getting through almost two years that felt like they would NEVER END, I can't believe we only have two months left!  It's this bittersweet feeling that I've been grappling with lately.  There are a lot of things that are not ideal about Brazil, but there are a lot of awesome things that I'm going to miss as well. 

Portuguese is one of them. 

Also, farmer's markets.

Beautiful scenery.

Easy get-away weekend destinations.  (and I only just started getting into these!)

Friends who 'get' the difficulties. 

Being 'the foreigner'.  

Teaching English privately.

And especially, being close to Ro's family, and my second family. 

Two months is not long before we say goodbye to these things for a little while.  I think, however, I've become addicted to change so I'm really anxious and excited about starting anew.... As hard as things have been, I'm leaving this country more aware, accepting, patient and adaptable than when I started.  It's been a journey I wouldn't change for anything! 

9 comments:

  1. my heart just broke into 3 billion pieces.

    You got to do what's best for you though! Try not to think of me by myself, without you and other expat friends eating REALLY GOOD mandioca frita.

    But really, I wish the best to you and your future family!

    Abraços!
    Alex

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  2. My heart just exploded with happiness! Sorry Alex, but I want my Londsey Patronsey back! Even if it means I won't be visiting Brazil, at least for a few years. Enjoy your last 2 months there, and I'll talk to you soon!

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  3. I have been so busy with the baby that I haven't been reading any blogs. So I caught up on your last three posts after I read this one. Wow, first of all congrats on the new phase of life. Being a mommy is one of the toughest and most beautiful things in the world. It's just so amazing to see someone that came from you grow and develop.

    I see after having Luca why you would go back. Mostly, I think it's the hardest thing in the world to be pregnant and give birth and have the baby everyday away from your family and friends. Brazil has been an amazing personal experience for me and like you, I am in a much better place after our third move. But nothing can replace relationships with your mother and family. I too, had the conversation with Ricardo recently where we are going back to the US for at least a period of the baby's life. However we are not going to ever really be 100% ground in one country or the other.

    Well, heres to new journeys!

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  4. Not sure I ever said congratulations - I'm really happy for you both - such happy news! And now you're leaving? So much change, you must be a big mixed up bag of excitement and (a little?) melancholy right now. I'm sure 'The Move' will feel huge, but as you say, you'll always have ties to Brazil and I'm sure you'll be coming back quite regularly, right?

    Anyway, congrats once again! Tom

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  5. Hi Congratulation, I was wondering what is it that you just don't like about living in Brazil? Just curious

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  6. Never say never! You may come back one day :)

    But good for you for knowing when to close a chapter and open a new one. As well as I was treated here, even having my parents here for the births of my boys, it was hard not having them at home. I totally feel ya!

    Enjoy your last two months! Hopefully we'll be able to meet up before you go and please let me know if you need help with anything.

    bjos

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  7. I just moved here to Brazil in March and have also just started a blog! Something curious to me - when I first moved to Manhattan, I was miserable! I thought - what am I doing here?! These people are so mean and we have nothing in common! It took me nearly 2 years to finally adjust and fall MADLY in love with the city.

    Interesting how it took you the same amount of time to adjust to Brazil. As I am here on a 2-year rotation with my company, I really hope that somehow I can adjust a bit quicker this time around.

    Boa Sorte with your new adventure - back to Canada!

    Beijos!

    My blog: www.BrasiLady.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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